Jealousy
by moerisu
Summary: Alice gets back one of her memories and is rather happy about it. /most likely tons of OOC and can be seen as either friendship or more romantic shipping if you want to; Alice/Gil


I actually wrote this like two months ago and spent maybe one or two hours with it, so don't expect anything great and um sorry for a ridiculous amount of OOC and I don't even know why exactly I wrote this, but I hope some people maybe still will enjoy it a bit...

Disclaimer: Nope, I definitely don't own Pandora Hearts and never will.

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Deep down she always had been jealous. It was almost funny how she of all people, who hadn't even known what jealousy had meant for a long time, had this feeling all along actually.

It hadn't been there since the beginning. And for her to realize that she felt this way had taken even more time.

Alice wasn't completly dense; she had noticed this bitter feeling a while ago already, but she never had found words to describe it properly, so she never had mentioned it in front of anyone. The reason for this wasn't her lack of words, but the fear of being laughed at.

To be honest if someone did laugh at this, she wouldn't even be able to get mad at them. It was ridiculous after all.

She who once had claimed that only weaklings sticked together, she who acted as if she didn't care, she who seemed to hate him so much; she was the one who got jealous upon seeing him being close to someone who wasn't her.

At first she had thought it wasn't because of him that she felt this way and that it was Oz' fault and he was the reason for her jealousy, but then she had realized that this wasn't the truth.

It didn't bother her because of Oz.

It didn't bother her to see him talking to someone else. Sure, sometimes she snapped when he did because he was her property, but.. that was it. Simple like this.

Gilbert.

He was the one who caused this.

It still was a bit hard for her to admit this. That she felt jealous because he was so close to Oz and not close to her at all. All they ever did was fighting and screaming at each other, nothing else. She never had minded this really, so why did she start with it?

Maybe she would never have an answer to this question, maybe she had one already.

..actually to say 'maybe' was already a lie.

She knew what the answer was, although part of her still denied it.

That she didn't hate him. That she liked him. That she wanted to have something which connected just him and her.

She did want to have this connection with him. Not only that they both had to work together for Pandora or that they both stick with Oz, but something which only belonged to the two of them and no one else could be part of.

That's why..

That's why she was so glad that she had got this memory back.

She was glad about each of them she got back of course, but this one.. this one was very dear and precious to her.

A lot of her memories seemed to be very painful, things she didn't want to remember, but had to in order to find out who the Alice from hundred years ago had been. But this memory was different.

It made her happy. So happy that she wasn't able to hide it, but she was bad at hiding her feelings anyway.

But she didn't even want to deny it. The warmth, the happiness she felt coming from this memory, it was something she never wanted to forget.

The Alice who had been locked into the tower, who always had suffered from loneliness and was scared that everyone hated her; she never really had been alone. There had been someone who cared for her, who wanted to protect her and liked her for who she was. Someone who had given her the feeling that she was safe when she was him and that she didn't have to be scared anymore.

He had promised it back then. He had promised that it would always be like this, that he would never hate her, that he would always like her and never let her be alone. That he would be the one who saved her from the world she lived in.

"What's up with you, Stupid Rabbit? Did you see any meat or why are you smiling like this?"

It wasn't wrong that she felt like this, was it? Although the Alice she was now and the Alice she had been were different, in the end they also were the same. A lot of things had changed, though some also had stayed the way they always had been.

"Gil?" She didn't react to his words like she normally did and her voice probably sounded way softer than it normally did when she was talking to him. But it felt good. It felt good speaking like this and calling him 'Gil' like she used to call him a long time ago.

"…"

She couldn't help but laugh about his reaction. To see him being so confused because of her and not sure what to think of her, he always had been like this. She wasn't entirely sure what exactly was the reason for him being so speechless sometimes, but it made her happy that he had stayed the same. Even if he couldn't remember their past, it still was part of him and always would be, just like Alice's past would always affect her and just like she would always be part of his and he part of hers.

Nothing could ever change that. It was their connection to each other and no matter what happened, they always would be part of the other's life.

"You will keep your promise, won't you?"

She knew it was useless that she asked him this and that he most likely couldn't remember it, but she didn't care. She knew he would keep it. He wasn't someone who broke his promises, even if he didn't remember them.

"W-what are you even talking about? You make no sense at all! Y-you sound even more stupid tha—-!"

She didn't care. No matter how much he insulted her or what else he said, their past couldn't be denied or left entirely forgotten.

"It's fine. I know you can't remember it yet. But you will keep it, won't you? It wasn't a lie when you said you will protect and save me."

He was clearly taken aback by what she had said, staring completly confused her and just muttering her name as reply was proof of this.

She, on the other hand, couldn't stop smiling.

Even after such a long time, he was still by her side. He still was here and cared for her. It was one of those things which hadn't changed and she hoped from the bottom of her heart that it never would.

And she knew she had to be the one who had to do something now, because he couldn't.

Slowly she stepped closer to him, pulled her arms around him and gently pressed him closer to her.

There. It was still there. The warmth was still there. It also had stayed the same.

"I'm sorry. I'm.. sorry I cause you so much trouble.." She whispered, not even really realizing that she was crying, until he put his arms around her and softly stroke her back. She was sure he had no idea why she cried, yet he didn't leave and was comforting her.

Some things really never changed, did they? He wouldn't let go of her til she was okay again and could smile, just like he had never let her go, whenever she had felt scared in this past.

There was no reason anymore for her to be jealous. No matter what happened, no matter how many years passed, he would always care for her, just like she always would care for him. It was something just between him and her and this was something no one could ever take away from her.


End file.
